Movie Review: Rock On
The following is a review of the movie Rock On (2008), produced by Farhan Akhtar and Ritesh Sidhwani, starring Arjun Rampal, Farhan Akhtar, Koel Purie.
Rock on? Seriously?
Rock On. “The arrival of rock in Bollywood”, apparently.
As a wise man once said, kiss my chuddies.
What is it, I would like to know, about this movie that warrants the four-star ratings that are plastered all over the place? Is it the substandard acting? Is it the predictable storyline? Is it those “punch lines” that fall completely flat? Or is it that fabulous rock music on the soundtrack, composed by those Gods of Rock, Shankar, Ehsaan and Loy.
“Pop On” is what this movie should have been called, for it simply oozes Indian pop culture every way you look at it. It appeals to the self-proclaimed cool strata of society who think it sounds great to say, “That’s rocking, dooood“, and “You’re a rock star, man”.
These pathetic excuses for “rock fans” can’t distinguish metal from rock, pop from rock, heck even Himesh from rock. If you like it, and the rest of the ‘cool crowd’ like it, it suddenly becomes “rocking”, otherwise its “sad” or “lame”.
Rock On‘s ridiculous success quite simply embodies the contingent of people, or lack thereof, who understand what rock music stands for.
It’s an incredibly bizarre formula for a hit movie, don’t you think? With actresses from ‘K serials’, a director-cum-actor who delivers whole paragraphs of dialogue in a single breath, a random guy with long hair, and a few nincompoops from MTV who happen to have heard a few rock albums in the course of their lives. And seriously, who didn’t see any of those, ahem, twists (?) coming.
Rock On is simply a case of a half-decent director, yet again, taking a formula that worked beautifully with Dil Chahta Hai, and tossing it into a frying pan of popular youth culture, with a downright boring story, loosely implementing a few stereotypes and fads, and delivering a complete waste of movie tickets, pop corn, and two-and-a-half hours.
Oh, and I haven’t even gotten started on the music. Is that the world’s perception of rock? Spastic-looking drummers and keyboard players, some tall guy standing in the middle playing a few notes on his guitar, and the most God-awful lyrics you’re ever likely to find? What was Javed Akhtar thinking writing those songs? Is there such a lack of inspiration in his life? “Aasman Yeh Neela Kyun? Paani Geela Geela Kyun?” Are you effing serious?
But the masses like it, right? So, why not make a movie that sells and utterly disgraces rock music and all it stands for in the process?
What can I say?
Rock On, boys and girls, Rock On.